Our children's sensitivities are real.  For my daughter's birthday, we purchased a new water bottle for her.  The next morning after receiving it, she filled it up with water and took a sip.  Then she announced, "It smells like Natural Grocers." Crazy enough - that's where I purchased it!  I go there occasionally, but do the majority of my shopping at other grocery stores in the area.  This was a good reminder of the incredible power of the sensory child.

 

Sometimes these intuitive gifts amaze us, but at other times, they can prove to be incredibly frustrating.  As a parent of a bright, sensitive child, you may have had the experience of preparing for a family hike only to have a child so irritated by the seams in her socks, that she refuses to participate.   Perhaps you have been on a road trip and taken out a piece of minty gum. As the scent escapes the wrapper, your child begs you not to chew it as he says it makes him feel nauseous.  Perhaps she is constantly asking you to turn down the music in the car even when it is not that loud.  He may insist on wearing the same sweatshirt every single day because he likes the texture of the material.  

 

These things drive us crazy.  They impact our plans.  They go against our social norms.   They cause us to worry about our children's social well-being.  What to do?

 

Here are 8 tips for responding to your child's sensitivities:

 

 1.  Most importantly:  Do not laugh, ridicule or minimize the sensitivity your child is experiencing.

2.  Accept that the sensitivity is something your child is experiencing, not something he/she is doing intentionally.

3.  Remember that your child will likely outgrow the sensitivity or find more positive ways of coping.

4.  Try to respond calmly and without frustration.  Our frustration only increases anxiety.

5.  Validate your child's experience and empathize with the feeling of discomfort.

6.  Accommodate the sensitivity when you can.  

7.  When accommodations just aren't feasible, try distraction.  Ask them questions about their primary area of interest ( not when they are screaming of course).

8.  Help your child accept the sensitivity and plan with it in mind.  For example, help him identify what he likes about his favorite sweatshirt, then shop for things that have those qualities.

 

On occasion, your plans will be altered.  Accept it with grace. When this happens, you will be modeling flexibility; a key ingredient to resilience.